It's 3am....
It is currently 3 am while I'm writing this. It won't be posted till later because I always run everything I write past Kelly first. It's a good strategy. We all know Kelly is the brains of the operation, and having him as my censor friend (you know, the one who tells you if your outfit is ugly or if your breath stinks) has been my saving grace.
But anyway........
3am. Insomnia is a bitch, my friends. But even as tired as I am, there's something mystical about being up when the whole rest of the world is dreaming. The quiet is pure and you have to really know yourself to be able to sit around in all that silence. There was a time when I would play the radio or leave TVs on, just to have distracting racket to keep me from being too much in my head.
But right now......things are good right now.
Nick has been hard at work on his latest play and it's been so fun having him read it aloud to me. (He is wildly good at all the different voices!) I woke up to a marvelous email from Audrey Creegan who is illustrating the children's book I wrote. She sent me 3 two-page spreads and I was so overwhelmed I mighta cried.
(yeah....go ahead and assume that I defiantly DID cry.)
I sent them to my manager so we can start trying to get a publisher and she claimed she cried too! It's astonishing to me how that girl got inside my head and knew exactly what I wanted this book to look like. And then, I was so inspired by that, I sat down and wrote for a while today. That's no small feat, as the winter usually renders me completely drained of any creativity. I have a fierce attachment to sunshine and green leaves and warm nights and lizards sunning on my front porch. So to be able to write even with the absence of all those things......I feel good about it.
I won't fall asleep for another couple of hours. I'm debating on whether to start reading Kate Chopin's "The Awakening" or a Tennessee Williams play. I will brush my teeth and wash my face and then decide. And when I wake up, hopefully there will be more good news and productivity. I'm wishing the same for all of you.
It's not much, but it's all I got. Sweet dreams.
hil
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Comments
I wish you a lot of successful for your children's book!!
HIlarieee!!! it's good to know about your books! Congrat!!!
I feel sad about my life right now , but you know Hil you give me hope.
when i think about you i feel better. You're my inspiration, i admire you soo much!
I sooo far away, but i dream that someday will know North Caroline.
i wish you all the best 'cause you deserve that!
i love you sooo much hil! and best wishes with the children's book!!!
You got a friend in Argentina, Bs As.
Hey, I am really excited because i just found out that my aunt is going to take me and my sister to wilmington,NC for a weekend in april! I am really excited cause I LOVE one tree hill. But im only gonna be down there for the weekend and i want to get as much things done as possible. One thing that I really want to do is meet someone from the cast esp. YOU cause you are my favorite on that show. I was soooo upset when i found out that you were no longer gonna be on the show anymore. One Tree Hill just isnt the same. One of my friends sister said that she meet you when she went down there and said that you were so laid back and cool. Im soooo excited. Im def. gonna go visit the rivercourt when im down there. I know that this had nothing really to do with your blog but i just had to write this just incase you ever read it. I LOVE YOU! and i hope you or chad micheal murry do a cameo on one tree hill. Hope you have a great valentines day!
(your awesome)
col
I feel as if you and I are on similar planes at the moment. Truthfully, I would love to be able to be awake and writing at 3am, but because of a little bother called school, I am unable, or would otherwise fall off the face of this earth. But in all actuallity, I too have been inspired lately, after quite the dry spell if I do say so myself. It's great to be back in the ring again, and I hope to one day have some sort of professional writing career as you seem to be creating for yourself. It sounds so exciting!
As for the reading options, I am currently reading "The Awakening" and it trully is a fascinating read, and Tennessee Williams is great as well, I actually quoted him in a recent essay of mine. I love te literature suggestions you make on this site, and cannot wait to get my hands on them. Congratulations on the book! Don't get so down on the winter, I heard North Carolina actually got snow, and for me, that is one of my greatest inspirations of all. Happy writing!
hilaire :D lol so u stay up late yeah well i would stay up late only to see what u write and all that (L) i love you so much!!! im not kidding like rly alot of people think im so annoying caz i always talk about you :) :) i dont rly know what to say just that ilysfm (L) and that u should go back to oth lol
I am a fan of the winter. it sparks a mysterious feeling in me that I have yet to understand. It seems to increase my emotions to a point of creativity. Meaning if I don't do something artsy, I'll explode. So I'll sit a write and think thoughts of times long ago or quite the opposite. Draw or paint of picture of feelings or whatever I'm seeing in my head, or take a long minute to just go with the flow and see what happens. I also sing sometimes. Whenever I have a whole lot of emotion to try and get out in a short time. I do believe my all time favorite thing to do though is to walk around my neighbor and take in the sights, whether is winter or summer. Some amazing feelings come over me when I do this and just can't quite describe what it is. As I write this comment I think of it now and it makes me feel really good. I love that you've posted and things are good on your end. But since your always sharing some of your secrets, I thought I'd share too. Till next time. <3 Brandal
It's great to hear from you especially concerning the progress of your children's book. I am so excited to see the finished copy!
I am also an insomniac but I absolutely love it! I always find I am at my most creatively awake at 3 or 5 in the morning-even if I am in no mood to talk to anyone about it lol. I always have to have a notebook or reading book and my ipod under the pillow, so I don't get bored awaiting the sleep that rarely comes.
Laura
"...there's something mystical about being up when the whole rest of the world is dreaming. The quiet is pure and you have to really know yourself to be able to sit around in all that silence."
3am would be considered a "normal" bedtime for me, however most people who know me are trying to tell me its anything but that. And its true, to be awake when the rest of those living in my time zone are sleeping takes a subtle strength that I think we sometimes take for granted.
Dave Tyson Gentry said, "True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable." I believe this saying also holds true for being comfortable with ourselves. Not everyone can do it.
My favorite time of the day is the hours when everyone else is sleeping (dont get me wrong, I love the hours when the rest of the world is awake too!). Those quiet, uninterrupted moments are the ones when I am most creative, and therefore most productive when it comes to what I love to do, write. They're also the moments that I am free to get lost in a good book with a blanket and a cup of tea.
I am glad that staying up to an "ungodly" hour came with breaths of fresh air and excitement for you Hilarie! I'm also glad that I am not the only one! ;p
xo
Brandi
Hilarie I am excited about this children's book. Very excited! I realize it will probably be awhile before we see & read it...but even so it will be worth the wait. As is many things SoGoPro related...
I don't actually think I have insomnia...I just stay up way way later than I should sometimes. There is something special about being up when everyone near is asleep. That is the positive side of insomnia I guess.
Your children's book... I am very on the jump for it! And "The Awakening" is a really great book, I have read it during my first year at the faculty.
I hope you are not so tired anymore..
Love from France,
Lonae.
•"The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!" - Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 1
I drive the ramvan (something you might be familiar with, Hil, from your days at Fordham) until 5 am on Fridays and I expected that I would just want to pass out in my bed each week after my shift....but I've found that being awake while the person next door is tucked neatly into their bed is kind of an energizing prospect. The silence of the night has an inflating effect on my ego because at 5 am when I pick up a book or stumble across an amazing song, it's like those words were meant for me alone to read or hear...glad to see so many other people have too found nocturnal solace in the nighttime landscape!
Oh, you discovered my secret! I love to stay up till 3 to 4 in the morning simply because i've always prefered the peacefulness, calm and serenity of the night over the hustle bustle of the mornings. I try to cut that down now because i know sleeping that late is not good for your health but sometimes i really can't help it. Many have pointed out to you that not excatly everyone else is dreaming while your awake, but I like to pretend that they are, and for that moment in time, the world only belongs to me. =)
Lynn
Heyy, and thank you for writting. Its only 10:30pm right now, but you can bet that i will be awake well past 3am, and i have to work at 10 :( but thats ok, not sleeping is normal for me, you said it yourself "Insomnia is a bitch..." you can say that again. But you've put a different spin on it for me now. I used to always dread being the only one who's awake, the only one not dreaming, i'm kinda scared of the silence. But i never thought of it as time to spend with myself, thinking, and clearing my head.
I used to go to sleepovers with all of my friends, and i remember, every time being the only one still awake, and it got pretty lonely, sometimes so lonely that i would cry, but thanks to you, and your bright outlook on things, maybe now i wont be so afraid of the silence.
Im really glad that your children's book is comming along so well, and thats cool that you cried at someones work, and inspiring that something others do, can reach you. Your words matter, and im sure your book will be amazing! And thank you.
-Loren
3am! Told ya so, but hey look at the bright side, people are dreaming, and I get to enjoy the silence, or maybe I'll dream while I'm awake like the other half of the world.
I could not get to sleep for anything last night! I finally fell asleep a little after 2:30am and I had to be up at 6am to get ready to teach my preschool class for a 10 hour day. It was rough!
thanks for sharing hil. i believe your book will great.
btw, i have insomnia for many years, i know what's feel, insomnia sucks, it's really bad for your health, you must be careful.
take care
My vote is for The Awakening. It's always been one of my favorites!
Hi Hilarie,
I realised that when you wrote this I was getting out of the shower at 8:00!! So much for the whole world dreaming!! I hope you got back to sleep because if that were me I would be grumpy and grouchy all day!!
A I L E E N :D
Being up at 3am is part of what I do. But I agree, there is something to being up and doing things when most of the people in your area is asleep. I have wondered why 3am seems to always be the key time for people. Not just for the ones who cant sleep, but in my field there seems to be something to 3am as a time for activity to pick up too. I cant understand why but even with the last two investigations we did, both stated that 3am is when things happen. And there has been many other cases that all seem to always center around that time. I dont know if they suffer from the "Paranormal State" dead time logic or what.
Well I thought I would add my own comment to this. Continued good luck on the future of SoGoPro.
"It's Not Haunted Until I Say It's Haunted" Bill Hartley Founder/Lead Investigator Greater Maryland Paranormal Society
insomnia isn't a bitch it's good for the spirit sometime,you can think with the silence and with the darkness
But anyway ,for me it's at this time where i catch the best idea,so i wish you a good night and a good dream
loic the french cook
Well when I prefer to be awake at 3 AM, it is not for sake of insomnia but for sake of finding calm hours to think about many things, so do not quickly get pessimistic about it but enjoy the best sides of it, such as there indeed are people on other sides of the world that are awake and you can exchange opinions with them or work your way efficiently without any disturbance.
Freedom is the right of those that can risk anything to acquire it.
You say this : "3am. Insomnia is a bitch, my friends. But even as tired as I am, there's something mystical about being up when the whole rest of the world is dreaming."
But the rest of the world doesn't sleep. Because when it's 3am for you, for me it's 12am if you are on the west coast or 6am on the east side.
When like you I'm not sleeping in the night I like to think what could do some people when normally I sleep.
I hated being the last one up at my house. I felt that everyone was moving on with their life and I was just stuck in time. But now, I see it as a time to do all my thinking for the day. I also think a lot when I drive. (If I'm not belting out ridiculous songs). Although I love my sleep! Insomnia would be the worst disorder EVER!! One of my favorite things to do is dream. It's like "What movie is my mind going to show me tonight?" Dreams are very personal and that's what I love about them....I can't wait to see your children's book, Hilarie! I hope you get some sleep soon, cause I hate to think of you missin out on all those wonderful dreams! :) (That's not meant to be creepy). lol
Ashley :)
Wow, I must be the only person not to suffer from insomnia! I am so shattered by the time I get home from work my eyes are practically closing by 10pm! I know I am a lightweight now, but I wasn't always that way.....
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away ..... when I was young and bright and out on the razzle in Paris of an evening, there was something very mystical, almost eerie about being on that first bus at 5am on a Sunday morning. Paris is so quiet at that time it is like it belongs to you, or me, or whoever else is hauling their backside back home to recover from their prolonged evening's festivities. It is the alarming calm, that has stayed with me. No traffic, no shudders through the pavement of the metro and RERs, only the street cleaners, the drunks and the "partied out" ones are about. I have done that in a couple of cities, Paris and Edinburgh being my favourites, but oddly enough never Belfast, my home city.
So I am glad you have insomnia, that you have those magical moments to yourself. I am glad most of the SGPcrew do too, and ULTIMATELY I am very so very glad we have chat to help those poor sleep-deprived souls make it through to the redundant 6h30am alarm call.
I am grateful that your insomnia is a creative time, at least you get something out of it and I cannot wait for your childrens book. I hope it has rhyme, I love rhyme in books, please tell me there is rhyme?
*Tangent* yet useful info on your target audience....the best and most favourite Childrens books in our house are currently 'The Gruffalo - Julia Donaldson http://www.gruffalo.com/, 'The Tiger who came to Tea - Judith Kerr' and of course 'Kipper the Dog- Mike Inkpen http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kipper_the_Dog'. Doesn't Mike Inkpen have
an awesome name, for an author .....
hey hilarie,
I use to have that exact same problem not to long ago. I use to stay up until very early in the morning drawing, painting, writing, whatever. I think the night time is like the best time to do anything that would follow a moment of peace and quiet. I have a big family so during the day there is a lot going on around me. At night everyone is asleep so in that short moment of time peace is all around. Now, I have to wake up at 5am for school so I can't possible enjoy the night time like I use too! Maybe when I am finally done with school I'll go back to that serenity. Anyways, wow a children's book? really???? gezz what can't you do? I hope all goes well with finding a publisher and I think that would be way cool to see your book in like Barnes and Nobles or Borders or something of that nature. Btw... I love Tennessee Williams too. I took a theatre class last semster and I had to write a paper on him. He really is BRILLIANT!!!! Since I've been involved with SoGoPro I have been getting more and more into the theatre. I did a monolouge in that theatre class for my final which included "The Woolgather" which was a play a lot of people haven't heard of. I am really shy so being able to get up in front of my peers was a big step. I thought about sogopro before I preformed it. Thats what stopped my nerves and believe or not, I am actually pretty darn good! :)
Welcome to my club Hil!!!
I given to staying up late frequently, more than I would like... But as you well says, there's something mystical about being up when the whole rest of the world is dreaming... dark and quiet... lovely! I work better at daybreak, I don't know why but it is!
So hope you felt sleep fially and had a sweet dreams!
Lau.
I have exact opposite problem Hilarie. I work both a full time job and a part time job, so when I get home... I am out like a light by 9pm (kind of pathetic for a 24 year old). If you are looking to start a good read... may I recommend A Good Man Is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Conner. She always makes me think.
A Children's book sounds amazing by the way!! I often find myself at Barnes and Noble on Saturday nights in the children's section, discovering all over the wonderful fantastic books I had read a long time ago (and I may even take a dip into the I Spy Books - which are surprisingly challenging!!) I look forward to reading yours one day too!
- Take care
Amber
You Might As Well Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Taken.
Hi Hilarie,
I would just correct one thing: At 3 a.m., the rest of the world is not sleeping at all and believe me, you're not alone! I say that because, at this exact time, I was thinking of you...Don't worry, there is nothing scary in saying this... I was watching you on "My Celebrity Home" on the internet. I discovered this show by chance and it was a nice surprise because I didn't know this show was existing. Why watching this at 3 a.m. you could ask?.Well..I'm lying a bit because it was the same moment but not the same time as I'm living in Belgium ;) So, this let me think that on each moment, someone in the world is certainly thinking of you...the right way, of course.
I'm also really exciting by this new book. I'm sure this will be a masterpiece. When you create something and you cry at the end...it's just the way our body tells us how perfect it is. I'm a 36 year old child and I can't wait to buy my copy.
Thank you for your hard work. Everyday confirms that SoGoPro is not a production company like another and it's a real pleasure to follow you and your team in this creation process.
I hope I didn't made too much mistakes in English. Otherwise, please try to forget them ;)
I wish you good nights and great days. Stay yourself.
Kisses from Belgium.
Didier
P.S. : There is a human skull on your tv...Is this someone we know? ;)
I have to say i really enjoyed reading that. I'm always staying up late for absolutly no reason except that i can because i want too. A little weird i know! I find its the time I do the most thinking. I'm a bit of a loner in that sense, as much as i love my friends i'm quite happy in my own company. you can sit and bask in your own thoughts, I also do a lot of worring when I stay up late which I try to stop!
Always good to hear from you!
And that time of night is the best!! It's something I strive to do. Especially in college, it's often the only time you get to yourself.
Hope you enjoyed your time, glad to hear that all is well with you!
Julia in PA
So good to hear from you again Hil! It always brings a smile to my face :) Im super excited to hear that your childrens book is coming along...im very much looking forward to that! (Along with all the other great stuff SGP has in the works - of course).
I have to agree w/ you on the whole idea of the silence at that time of night (or morning actually) - i think that in those moments is when someone can really connect with their inner creativity and bring forth wonderful things! It's like a whole other world once the darkness creeps in and the rest of the world is at rest.......
Well i hope you got some rest so that when today brings more creative, productive opportunities you'll be on your A game! (Although im sure - tired or not - that you'll do your absolute best!) Keep up the awesomeness - you rock!
XoXo Lisa
I'm happy for you that you got a great response from the illustrator, and I hope that you're book get published soon! I'm proud too say that you are my role model, and I just think it's great that you've come this far. I will get happy if I get half as far as you with writing and production! Thx for the update! I love your blogs! Can't wait for the next blog or vlog! Take care, and keep up the good work!
Lina:)
3am! It's unfortunate to say that I am well accustomed to this early hour of morn. It's 12:24am right now...looks like I have a few hours left ahead of me.
haha...I most definitely assumed that you did cry. I am emotional like that. When someone can translate what you have poured your heart and soul into words, and paint it into magic. That's something special. It's thrilling and touching...and it's great that it inspired you to write more. So snaps to that.
Keep it rolling,
-Alina
p.s I'm feeling Tennessee.
Be a DO-er!